Confused and conflicted and feeling so entwined, most times I thought I was losing my mind. Turns out I’m not but my body wasn’t right. Some silent off balance that quickly held tight. Had me walking around thinking I was going mad but turns out what was happening was really, quite bad. My body was hurt and infecting my mind with some crazy real thoughts and demanding more time. Making me revisit things from the past that left me so speechless, I had to run fast. Fast from the truth that was coming quite clear and quick to the truth of the life that was closing from fear. My body was giving off all kinds of signs of death from inside of my mind. Finally, I took a moment for me and found out what was happening wasn’t the death of me. It’s the death of a time of living care-free. It’s the death of thinking life would always be free. Free from the pain of the past, while living on hiding and closing the past. Hiding myself from the truth of the world while I sit locked inside behind a closed door. The door is my mind and it’s working too hard to keep me locked up and keep me shut off. As safe as I felt locked inside of my mind, it had to end now or I’d die trapped inside.

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