Let Go

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Reminiscing to a time of life before you. I call out in the distance and remember how things brewed. We had a history of love that captured the hearts of two fools. Now we’re lost in a tranquil ecstasy only living together through our dreams. This love we created and nurtured through time, wildly passionate affected created a bond. Bound by obligation to the world that won’t exist if we combine, so we sail into the distance…separate ways, separate lives.

Happy Holidays

Been a hectic few weeks and I haven’t had enough time to edit and post. I have been cruising through and reading here and there. These holidays have had me tied up between cooking and working and writing ideas and poems but leaves no time to post much. I’m penning this while I have these few moments of downtime at work. Hopefully with the new year I’ll be better at my time management and get to post more regularly.

Meanwhile, I wanted to take a moment to wish u all a very happy and safe New Year’s and hope u all had a good holiday season. I know some people struggle during this time, I’m one of them but there is a rainbow in the distance and nothing stopping it but a thought. If we give nurishment to the positive, we are more likely to get that positive back. 

Take care and share the smiles!!! We all need that in a world that most times shares more hate than anyone needs. Smile power always rules!!! Keep it up or keep it to yourself!!! See u around!!!

Nicole L. 

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Unloved

Unloved

I have a friend whose misconception is the way she sees the world
It’s skewed at best but not at worst for words that can’t be told
It’s kind of hard to tell my friend that what she sees isn’t the end
Because she’s blinded herself to the truths that lie inside
She sees a world full of attention and that’s her biggest misconception
The love she has inside that she hides with childish eyes
She thinks the world is just a toy for all girls and boys
But in her mind she fears the worst she feels unloved
Unloved by family
Unloved by friends
Unloved by all that dwells within
It’s in her mind you see
Unloved by you
Unloved by me
But what I can’t help her to realize
Is that the love she feels inside
Is the love she needs the most
Because that love is best to boast
It’s the greatest misconception to feel you need love and affection
From the ones outside your mind
You’re just coveting your time
You have to open up your mind and see the love you have inside
And treasure it the most
Because it’s that love which you should boast
Once you find your love within it really changes all your trends
It helps to really see the world and the beauty that could be

Copyright NLSmith 2014
From the book, Love Through My Eyes, http://goo.gl/tRzaRY

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Percussive

a thought or feeling causing dread.
an idea that u wish u never had. 
the time he said he loved u then he hit u in the head.
the moment your father held u close to tell u he wished u were dead. 
the love of a friend that only came from putting u down outside your head. 
the ways society treats u that makes u wish u were dead. 
outcast and old, watching through windows.
hiding from the past while your head is constantly crass.
the ways we try to shine but always burn our light out. 
Percussive ways that destroy our soul.
things that die inside while to fight to live on.

Percussive

Confused and conflicted and feeling so entwined, most times I thought I was losing my mind. Turns out I’m not but my body wasn’t right. Some silent off balance that quickly held tight. Had me walking around thinking I was going mad but turns out what was happening was really, quite bad. My body was hurt and infecting my mind with some crazy real thoughts and demanding more time. Making me revisit things from the past that left me so speechless, I had to run fast. Fast from the truth that was coming quite clear and quick to the truth of the life that was closing from fear. My body was giving off all kinds of signs of death from inside of my mind. Finally, I took a moment for me and found out what was happening wasn’t the death of me. It’s the death of a time of living care-free. It’s the death of thinking life would always be free. Free from the pain of the past, while living on hiding and closing the past. Hiding myself from the truth of the world while I sit locked inside behind a closed door. The door is my mind and it’s working too hard to keep me locked up and keep me shut off. As safe as I felt locked inside of my mind, it had to end now or I’d die trapped inside.

The minds clarity of things is often destroyed by life.

Anxiety and depression, confusion and unseen life lessons.

Unknowing what lies next can cause the confused life states.

Smiles with fake tears or clowns that drive with cheerleaders.

What comes next is a joke.

It’s just a reason for us to stay broke.

It doesn’t matter who’s around with foolish treasure.

No one sees anyways beyond the bruises of their egos.

Fools with gold on the mountain of life.

Looking down into the closed world of the sun.

Often wondering why or where clarity will become fresh air.

Silence can be seen through the trees of the sea.

Without the sun there is no life.

Without the moon nothing is right.

That good old moon that tells the truth.

Comforting ways without any proof.

Alone u watch the waves as the moonlight glitters.

Am I who I can be?

Or am I who u need?

Does it matter in the end?

Will there be life without trends?

Aspirations are just realizations that lead to ambitious truths.

If we do what we’re true to and look beyond what we see.

Will life swallow me whole or will I keep being trolled by the world?

At some point death will come.

Will I be dressed?

Will I run?

Will I embrace the truth of my death as I’ve basked in the sun for my existence?

Will my life leave me with meaning?

Or will it just be a dream from a spiritual being?

When my mortal life ends, I do hope I learn the meaning of things.

Sadly, I won’t be able to share it with you.

I will only exist through these words.

 

Thoughts…Rambles…

I woke up with the best intentions for a smile

But instead I’m just irritated and I have a low growl

I don’t know what it is and why at times I can’t

Just take life for what it is and just leave things to chance

I have a mission for myself that I can’t describe

I’m sure I’m angry for a reason and it’s not just pride

I know I keep it bottled up like things I hide

And that’s just sad that at times all I wanna do is hide

Is it ever gonna change these feelings I despise?

Or will they fester  for a season and keep up the rise?

I wonder at times is it all in my mind

Or did something happen that I block

So I just contain my pride?