Zo

at times i feel i’m living in the world of a zoo

i half of the time don’t know what to do

i keep getting sidetracked by life

it causes me pain most days and strife

there are times when i can cry

then the times when i hold my head up high

lost in the cross of this zoo called life

with so many animals demanding rights

humans that bleed blood and kill for power

i don’t know how to separate hours

the time i’ve spent living has shown me no proof

no proof that life is different in then an animal zoo

NLSmith 2017

I don’t know if this is a poem or a rant…lol. Life man, this is a crazy place called reality.

Zoo

Truth Is

I once wrote a letter to a friend that broke her heart.
It told of truths straight from my start.
Things I’d never shared with light.
Things that I wanted to keep buried.
I had to share my truth.
I wrote about so much in my youth.
Afraid of what most people thought.
But not caring enough to hold my heart.
Finally, I had enough.
I screamed my truth from the treetops.
A few walked away from me.
It didn’t stop me from being free.
It set me on a brand-new path.
Of seeing myself and beyond my wrath.
It wasn’t pain I wanted to share.
It was the truth of my heart so rare.
I was repressed so long ago.
Made to believe how I felt shouldn’t be known.
Told to close out those feelings inside.
Shown to shove my feelings aside.
Now as I sit alone with my book.
I write this poem while reading books.
I feel so content in what’s been said.
I feel so alive and my head is clear.
I can move on with a new purpose of heart.
No longer down and hiding my spark.
My smile isn’t fake, and my time isn’t shallow.
I no longer cower about tomorrow.
She wasn’t the only who was hurt by my words.
And those who were hurt are flying like birds.
I can no longer contain the pain.
I had to let it out.
I had to make it rain.
My sister is still answering for her crimes.
And she is family but she never has time.
Time to see the part that she played.
In hiding my feelings and putting me in shame.
Now that I’m alive my mind won’t stop.
Creating poems and watching the clock.
Making sure I still have time.
Time to write out another line.

NLSmith 2017

Snippet

Snippet

I’ve only lived a snippet of life. Just a moment in time. On a big blue ball that circles the sun. Earth itself is so old that my time isn’t told in the snippet of time that life has been created. Will we ever know just how old is the sun? How long life existed, not just dreams or inferences? Assumptions and half truths made by scholarly youths. Who think they know best how we should be impressed. A snippet, a moment, a brief dance of life and here were are. How’d we miss the dinosaurs?

Bite of Life

Life was tasteless from the first bite. Always disparaged and living outside. Watching moments pass by without a smile. Chewy, tasteless moments with constant reminds. Bites that lasted years instead of quickly chewed up. Bites that left disgust in the mouth with distrust. Chewy tasteless moments that just won’t die. Bigger nasty bites that leave life unsolved.

 

Bite

Percussive

a thought or feeling causing dread.
an idea that u wish u never had. 
the time he said he loved u then he hit u in the head.
the moment your father held u close to tell u he wished u were dead. 
the love of a friend that only came from putting u down outside your head. 
the ways society treats u that makes u wish u were dead. 
outcast and old, watching through windows.
hiding from the past while your head is constantly crass.
the ways we try to shine but always burn our light out. 
Percussive ways that destroy our soul.
things that die inside while to fight to live on.

Percussive

Devoid Heart?

I can’t love anymore. I think my heart was broken once too many times. Now I feel a void where love should be. I can imagine how it should be, but I can’t feel it. I see how he looks at me and listen to what he says. His actions are true but inside of my head it’s a lie. A simple distraction to gain my attention, to get me to trust but I can’t stop this wall. I’ve taken my time to build it up and strengthen it. He tries and each time, a little of me dies.

I want to feel it but I can’t believe it’s real. Each time I tried, the love always died. But it was never real. Even from friends it was still a wish of something accepted that should have been rejected. Now as I walk in life, untrusting and lost in the dark of night, I ponder my beliefs and wonder why I couldn’t see? Why did I trust the lie and push away the truth? I didn’t demand or even request any proof. I just felt and trusted and believed. And to my surprise, were dark cold eyes. Eyes that told lies in the face of truth. Eyes that danced with a devil and would never see me through.

How do I trust myself? I’ve brought so much wealth. A wealth of pain into my life it remains. Pain of the truthful past. Pain from my trusting dance. A dance I do alone. And then create a smiling clone.